I miss being passionate...

I know the fire in me isn’t lost. I know my hearts still warm enough. Warm enough to melt atleast the society of science with something. Something! Aint clear yet. What’s clear is this dream. What’s clear is this confidence and what’s clear is how I see myself-now and 10 years later. But I miss something. I wondered what and I realized. Passion and fire not only comes from within but from your surroundings as well. It’s like a spark just wishing to be conceived in gasoline to set ablaze everything.

I’m not blaming anyone or anything for that matter. Each one’s for himself. But it’s just when you’ve tasted friendship so pure and when you’ve shared minds with those far better than your own and when you’ve fought together a battle which brought immortal glory which runs in your blood every single day you tend to want more or atleast maintain those levels. These two years have marred me more than anything else. I wish I wouldn’t disrespect those who surround me and I wish for the same from them but the clash is inevitable when what you ask from life differs to the very core of that which makes one who he is.

I’ve seen struggle. Struggle in the eyes of my loved ones to make me who I am today. It is in the honour and pride of that struggle that I carry this baton as I run this course of life to actually be sure of being worthy of something. Oh yes! It’s a battle every day and it’s more than satisfactory to sleep soundly every night. The only problem is I like to keep it insatiable (one of the effects of it being my sleepless pillow :P). Many feel irritated of this quality. I just fail to understand why. If you can appreciate the present enough and hope for more in the future I guess you can possess that secret ingredient, that driving force and ironically that source of satisfaction which many yearn till their last breath but fail to achieve it.

Anyways writing this doesn’t make me miss it any more. “It’s all in the head” I remember these words and I just smile at the end coz I know after all it’s not…..the end!