No regrets...

So many juniors came up to me saying that how couldn’t I participate in dance for Manthan, the annual inter hostel cultural festival. The question was killing apart from the expressions on their faces. It’s weird how we see movies and read books on things that you should follow which your heart desires but revert back to the normal life we live every day.  Couldn’t I have spared a little time to be a part of the practices every day? I guess I could have. Then what was it that leads me to abstain from it?

I guess they were a series of incomplete tasks and the burden of my goal for this semester which prevented me to enjoy something which so naturally comes to me- Dance. Sometimes it’s not okay to let go. Sometimes you need to adhere. Well the opposite side will seem perfectly crafted apotheosis of inspiration and motivation to have a free will and do what your heart desires but well my vision has crossed far beyond the predictions of natural successions to realize and tell myself what I need to live up to. Nobody had told me, goals especially ambitious ones would come in ribbon tied box which I would just neatly open up. The more important thing is nobody should. 

Unless you are absolutely determined to achieve what you've set to achieve you will not. Yeah I might realize in process whether it is worth it or not and that’s where I could choose to stop and let go. Do the things I do and pamper myself with a break but when I am in the middle of the road trying to reach a particular place, I cannot fancy me with break or a rest. What for? Dance for me is my hobby. I love it but I do not wish to pursue it.

I can dance anywhere. The feeling of not being ashamed and using it to express myself is priceless. But I cannot dance anytime and every time. I do it to take a break not to commit myself to it. A break from the tiring incline of the success graph I wish to see for myself. It brings a sort of constancy in me. It gives me the energy. Energy for what? To continue to pursue something else.

And  yeah this is not a letter of apology or clarification. In fact it’s a conversation with me. Talking to myself gives me the drive. My teachers have told me that I am a great speaker but a terrible listener. I wondered how I could improve. I failed. I couldn’t listen to most of them. Might sound funny now but well last option was to at least listen to myself. For now, things are going pretty well and I have taken decisions and have at least tried to proudly live up to them. For me, dance and conversations like these are my drive.  

So in the end, of course the choice is yours to do whatever you feel is right for you. Either way I believe you will land up in a place familiar to where you’d mentally limited yourself. You could be happy, you could be sad but I wouldn’t ever want to regret the path I take.  I’m happy in this case I don’t.