Thank you 2012!

As the last day of 2012 ticks it way in my clock I have my eyes closed trying to recollect whatever I can from this truly wonderful year. 4^th semester had begun bravely with reining my heart over the bitter cease of an ostensibly infamous ad-hoc relationship. The loose ends however were luckily tightened by the love and care of a true friend who turned out to be more than that. The excitement of a foreign internship pervaded deep in the skin to be affected by the random gusts of ocular trauma. The summers came soon enough revolutionizing my life in several ways. Friendship, professionalism, inspiration, motivation, hardwork and happiness were at their zenith. I couldn’t have asked for more. The amount of experience and emotions that the life of research has to offer is overwhelming. I consider myself to be lucky, extremely lucky, to have realized the worth of academia in my life. The end is hazy but the path is clear. With the things I have absorbed and the things I’ve let out, I can just hope to live up to my own expectations. None other’s matter. With South Korea coming to an end in my journey, leaving me with a thought that I probably might not go back ever to this beautiful country, I was aware that I was taking back much more from it than I possibly contributed. I was happy to have rediscovered my own college. However, the internship filled me with a desire to run behind stats more than ever. It led to some erroneous judgments and falsification of the very aims with which I began the 5^th semester.  I paid the price of going awry but was glad to have realized it soon enough. Having already being overwhelmed with the experience of the summer internship, I was ecstatic and almost drunk with the joy and excitement to get selected for the Indo-German winter academy. It was a neat packaged, ribbon tied Christmas gift of new friends and some of the brightest minds of the country. Apart from the academic and learning experience in the field of fluids mechanics of course. The academy proved to be another high point before the culmination of this year, after South Korea. The vacation in Pune city this December of 2012 was surreal. Got to spend some of the most exciting, scary, lucky and lovely days of my life. I had never believed in using New Year as an excuse for a fresh start or having a set of resolutions. I believed in starting fresh or setting an aim whenever I felt strongly about doing so. However with some series of events synchronously falling with the beginning of the New Year might apparently disguise my aims as resolutions. So yes, I do plan to change certain things. For the better for sure. Let’s see what 2013 has in store. Have always loved this unpredictability of life and damn I am excited. Thank you 2012. I am grateful for everyone and everything that happened to me. Trying to be a better person, every second. 

11TH INDO GERMAN WINTER ACADEMY, CMERI, DURGAPUR

I recall a famous quote by Aristotle, 

“It’s the mark of an educated mind to entertain an idea without accepting it”.

I couldn’t realize the profundity of this quote until I visited this academy. 7 IITs, 1 German Institute, 39 Indian students, 6 German students and well , infinite amount of talent was mathematically available if you will but leaving mathematics aside the dynamics of the very environment was so intellectually stimulating that all I could do is wonder and wow like a 5 year old standing outside a candy shop! The academy was for 7 days and I wish it continued for more but this number 7 seemed to work like the 7 wonders for us. We all knew the importance of networking and we all knew we had to learn. This short period of time somehow enabled us to overcome the threshold of acquaintance and cross-over to immediate friendship. Professional friendship perhaps if not personal, but that was adequate and sufficed for my gray cells to sweat every second. After those long sessions of contemplating about my college culture and coveting peers whose frequency could match with mine the academy proved to be like a necessary reassurance that there is always a wider spectrum. There is always a group of intellectuals who are ready to listen. Full of categorical literature and contemporary knowledge, the participants possessed an ability to challenge the borders of infinity itself. Yeah I know, if they are reading it perhaps modesty will make them think I am exaggerating but consider them to be like mirrors. Individually you cannot figure them out, but place it with another and one sees infinity for the other. I saw that in them. I realized even I could. Every second, every moment there was something new to imbibe. Be it numerical methods for fluids or dynamics of cricket balls, be it learning about different IIT cultures or the common threads that held us in a single fabric, be it learning about foreign professors or differentiating them with Indian ones, be it about realizing we were all weird in some way or realizing we all had something unique about us, it was all there. You just had to open your eyes, seek and learn.

Speaking about the academy specifically, we all were assigned a topic from contemporary research fields such that each topic had something known and unknown for all of us. The fact that the topic was familiar helped us be engrossed in the presentations even when there were only mathematical formulae on the white projector screen. Naturally the unknown aspects of the topics were difficult to comprehend in a matter of 45 minutes but just a simple introduction to it acts as an ignition to the bomb of knowledge ready to explode our minds. 

From morning 9 to evening 6 there were a series of presentations including the professor’s bragging here and there about their research work. Day began with a lousy breakfast and ended with a lavish dinner. Obviously, it includes the super heavy lunch and infinite coffee breaks during the presentations. Although it was half-felt, thanks to the previous Indo-German being held in a 5 star hotel with IIT Delhi celebrating its 50 years, we were treated royally. The newly inaugurated hostel was like the innocent virgin about to be exploited by academia hungry Indo-German participants, turning the shiny new rooms into murky residence. There was a fully functional HVAC system, fresh new sheet covered beds, a cozy blanket, new pair of bathroom slippers, a flat screen LCD TV, a lounge area with awesome couches, a cozy balcony with a couple of chairs, personal bathroom with soap and shampoo and well an annoying cacophonous bell. These might sound very trivial and obvious details for an accommodation but well given that they said our accommodation was in a hostel and not a hotel, as Indians students we learn to appreciate. Yeah there were some unfortunate ones who got to stay at the old guest house a couple of meters away, but they were saved the trouble of walking all the way from the new hostel to the guest house early in the morning when the soul is yawning and all it needs is just some food right to the mouth to help it not depart from the body. 

After the lousy breakfast as I mentioned earlier which was only bread butter and jam, at about 8:45 am we headed to the main campus as inmates in a caged school bus with a weird mysterious entrance which could only be found once you walk the entire perimeter of the vehicle. Basically the door was at the rear end and involuntarily everyone headed towards the driver side or the front of the bus to find the door eventually leading everyone to circumscribe the bus at least once.

The CMERI campus stood proudly and beautifully like a wild animal amongst the dense forest area of Durgapur or probably the campus was gardened well, anyways the serenity was engulfing. We reached the auditorium for our welcome session. Recalling the Delhi IGWA academy we wished to be stunned by “I”-pads or “I”-phones but alas! Reality dawned upon us like Leonardo DiCaprio in Inception silently whispering “Wake up” and we became the proud owners of “I”-Cards and Indo-German bags with a few goodies.

That marked the beginning of something so awesome, so exhilarating, so motivating, so reassuring, and so liberating that I choose not to spoil it by casting in words. Those 7 days of interaction, learning and intellectual stimulation shall remain with me forever. In all probability, it will be improving my way of thinking and by extension the course of my life. I am grateful to have met these amazing guys from Erlangen, IIT Madras, Roorkee, Kanpur, Kharagpur, Delhi and Mumbai and I am sure we all are looking forward to strengthen our bonds over the internet and continue to exchange information, ideas and knowledge to reach the apotheosis of ourselves.

School friends!

Life is all about the present. The presents you have, making it worth it, breathing in and out. One such present is your school friends. You could have their faint, half-forgotten images in your mind, with a couple of year old frame of references and then you are just stunned and amazed by the fact that they've changed so much. Suddenly all your senses are alert trying to recollect how they were and constantly sinking in the fact that this is who they are now. Sometimes the child in you wants to fight with the clock trying to make it tick backwards but all you can do is order a couple of drinks and hangout with these old friends and revive those times which made us stick around in the first place. The time gap hardly matters. Whether it’s been a few months or a few years, it’s the present which makes you happy. That very moment, you realize THIS is friendship. You behave as if there has been no void. Even if you feel it the questions and conversations are enough to fill them up. Jumping from one topic to another like the blithely flying migrating birds, the bliss of catching up is beyond these walls of words. And then the topic of discussion is about you and you realize that all this while when you were comparing the present and the past of your friends they were busy doing the same thing. You realize how you’ve evolved and how circumstances have led you to be who you are, as your friends ask you whether you still do this or that which probably you might have forgotten yourself. You realize how you were paying little attention to yourself in your busy life while your friends act as your mirror reminding you of those little moments which mattered to them the most about you. It’s funny how we think and act in one direction while your friends discover the whole new side of you. Yeah! After all this while school friends are still precious. They are still your presents!

living life to the fullest!

A lot of weird things happened today that threw me into a stack of realizations not only changing the way I am looking at my life today but also what I would choose to do next.  It’s funny how you always remember things in theory but forget them to apply in practice. I’ve always felt this self-constructed pressure on myself for a range of things I choose to pursue and I don’t know why. I’ve always known to enjoy life every moment (in theory) and make the most of it without actually realizing that I might have missed a whole lot of sides to my life which I could have attempted successfully or unsuccessfully just for the sheer pleasure of pursuing them. As confusing as this previous line could be I myself am appalled by the fact that there are so many things I wish I would have done in the past but left it as I was afraid of failure. Not just in pursuing the new task but also fearing to not be able to live up to my own expectation of my previous work. Well, it is realistic to be careful, cautious and wise but sometimes it’s worth taking a risk. Sometimes you need to hit the arrow in the dark to see where it lands. Although I still strongly do believe in not leaving your life to chance but certain decisions, certainly not all, could be dealt differently. The true experience of anything is when you could see both the high and the low of it. Unfortunately it can’t always be that ways. How could one experience both success and failure at the same time for the same thing? Although it’s easier to imagine about feeling happy and sad at the same time and even for the same thing but could it be possible with everything else as well? Would that be called the true experience of the thing in the first place? Even though I do not have an answer for that I do know one thing for sure. My definition of living life to fullest is dynamic, constantly changing and warmly accommodating every new facet that life has to offer. 

No regrets...

So many juniors came up to me saying that how couldn’t I participate in dance for Manthan, the annual inter hostel cultural festival. The question was killing apart from the expressions on their faces. It’s weird how we see movies and read books on things that you should follow which your heart desires but revert back to the normal life we live every day.  Couldn’t I have spared a little time to be a part of the practices every day? I guess I could have. Then what was it that leads me to abstain from it?

I guess they were a series of incomplete tasks and the burden of my goal for this semester which prevented me to enjoy something which so naturally comes to me- Dance. Sometimes it’s not okay to let go. Sometimes you need to adhere. Well the opposite side will seem perfectly crafted apotheosis of inspiration and motivation to have a free will and do what your heart desires but well my vision has crossed far beyond the predictions of natural successions to realize and tell myself what I need to live up to. Nobody had told me, goals especially ambitious ones would come in ribbon tied box which I would just neatly open up. The more important thing is nobody should. 

Unless you are absolutely determined to achieve what you've set to achieve you will not. Yeah I might realize in process whether it is worth it or not and that’s where I could choose to stop and let go. Do the things I do and pamper myself with a break but when I am in the middle of the road trying to reach a particular place, I cannot fancy me with break or a rest. What for? Dance for me is my hobby. I love it but I do not wish to pursue it.

I can dance anywhere. The feeling of not being ashamed and using it to express myself is priceless. But I cannot dance anytime and every time. I do it to take a break not to commit myself to it. A break from the tiring incline of the success graph I wish to see for myself. It brings a sort of constancy in me. It gives me the energy. Energy for what? To continue to pursue something else.

And  yeah this is not a letter of apology or clarification. In fact it’s a conversation with me. Talking to myself gives me the drive. My teachers have told me that I am a great speaker but a terrible listener. I wondered how I could improve. I failed. I couldn’t listen to most of them. Might sound funny now but well last option was to at least listen to myself. For now, things are going pretty well and I have taken decisions and have at least tried to proudly live up to them. For me, dance and conversations like these are my drive.  

So in the end, of course the choice is yours to do whatever you feel is right for you. Either way I believe you will land up in a place familiar to where you’d mentally limited yourself. You could be happy, you could be sad but I wouldn’t ever want to regret the path I take.  I’m happy in this case I don’t. 

Reaching for the stars....

William had been my best friend since college. He was one of the very few who effortlessly made his way through my bastion of life. I had always thought of him to be awry with those unconventional methods of problem solving so much so that I had started despising his acumen. Although there was no doubt that William and I were on the same intellectual level, I always used to end up undermining myself. 

One day when I was struggling hard with this apocryphal fact William worsened the situation by coming up with a preposterous idea of discovering a star by going to the North Pole. I had always been the textbook follower. Such absurdity had no room for respect. He was belaboring to the extent of me losing my equanimity. Enraged I had a bet with him saying that “I will follow the rules and you do your nonsense but I will reach for those stars earlier than you do”. William abated the storm by going no further. He was used to me losing my temper. 

Well this incident was wiped off my memory just like those after party nights. Time passed and we got so busy with our own lives that we were hardly in contact with each other.  The distance between London and Massachusetts worsened our relation. However, we both were flourishing in our work and were joyously living the dream. Astrophysics was life; I remember telling him almost every day. With me siting in my office trying to make multiple copies of a document saving it in different hard drives for backup I came across “my college days” folder. Sometimes going through your old folders is a rediscovering process of your long lost and forgotten old self. 

The first pic that caught my attention was William and me holding our graduate degrees. In that same moment my cellphone buzzed. To my surprise it was Williams’s residence. My already existing smile broadened. Titillated, I received his call. “Hey buddy! How are you?” I said with alacrity. “ugh John? This is Williams’s mother” I heard a melancholy in her voice. My heart sank. “Williams met with an accident. He wants to talk to you” she said with a constant quiver in her voice. “hey jonnie…” I heard a faint voice which seemed to resemble Williams. “docs say I don’t have much time so I thought of telling you something” he said. My heart was beating so fast I guess I went numb. “Hey willy. Long time mate” I said with a tear rolling off my eyes with his picture right in front of me. And then he said “I told you I will win brother. I am reaching for the stars now.” 

confused!!

Let me admonish the reader from before that what you read ahead might lead you to abhor me acutely. Probably the acrimonious debate with myself over certain questions has left me exasperated coveting for the storm to abate but alas! It’s all in vain.

The question is “Is there a basis for passion?” if yes, then does it mean that by rational plausible explanation one can convince oneself to be passionate about anything and everything? If no, then how does one rationally move towards achieving the set goals and in fact how does one become rational at all? Most of the times one would say that they are passionate about something because they “like” it. It’s like saying I’m passionate because I’m passionate. So it seems liking something is a “just-like-that” business. Obviously here I am using “like” synonymous to passion and not interest. Being interested and being passionate are two very different things.  If there is someone who feels they can make long term plans but not short term ones kindly let me know. Because that would mean that they have rejected the dynamic nature of immediate chain of events creating an impact over their lives. This doesn’t seem plausible to me. Holding that thought, the ones who feels that they do not have long term plans but short term ones are leaving their life to chance. This is a strange dilemma. The immediate question is how is one supposed to live then? Aimless?  Is there a need to have an aim? Wouldn’t you feel wasted without doing anything? In fact you really can’t do nothing as such. Ahh…I stand confused….

Memories!

The world is moving on

In leaps and bounds

But sometime you gotto stop

You gotto turn around

Just see what you’ve done…

What you’ve lost and found

They’re your memories

they deserve a little more

it’s after all a journey

doesn’t matter which destiny

they deserve a little more

a little more….

If you think theres no time to recollect

Then whats the use

of being so busy in the first place

it’s a sour taste of unshared success

that’s all you possess

you deserve a little more

they deserve a little too!

They’re your memories…

Close your eyes and reflect

Sweet memories

Listen to your heart, don’t regret

any memory

smile or shed a tear or two

whats happened with you

happens with few

you deserve a little more

they deserve a little too!

bittersweet memories,

You’re you coz of those

Memories…

Piya ko yaad kare...

Iss dil ko na rok paaun

Kare manmani..

Ho piya ko yaad kare….

Piya ko yaad kare…

Kaise use samjhau

Kahan woh chale gaye..

Aason who bhata rahe..

Ye dil toh nanhe bacche ki tarah

Rooth jaye…

Kaise isse manaye…

Piya ko yaad kare….

 Dhyaan toh bat jaye

Dil ka dhyaan hum kaise bataye

Bas ek hee rat lagaye…

Piya ko yaad kare….

Piya se pyaar kare….

Piya ko yaad kare….

Bas ek Mauka...!

aajkal sabhi....
kisi na kisi cheez main mahir hai..
lekin ham yahin..
khade hai ye sabko zahir hai...

kehnke liye toh kaafi kuch keh hum sakte hai
par karne ke liye bas koi humpe bharosa kare...

bas ek mauka mile
woh sapno ko sakar kare
unn aakhon ki umeedon ko pura kare...
bas ek mauka....!!

bas ek mauka......

paar karke ye dagmati nayya ko
dimaag lagaye kaam pe
chhodein fizul baaton ko
bas ek bharosa tu de

phir dekh kaise khile woh rang
phulon main....
bas ek mauka mile....
chaandni bhi suraj ki jwala
se bane...

bas ek mauka mile...........
bak ek mauka mile....

Its all about love...in the end!

Isn't it all about love
that we do the things we do
isn't it all about love in the end?

you either get it or you dont
it begins with mum and dad
casting your destiny
encompassing good and bad...

you're in constant need of it...
even a little bit...
but its all about love in the end...

with age comes new sides to it
forming bright and dark corners
you wish to stay near that light
but dark shadow overpowers

Isn't it coz of love
u hate someone too...
isn't it all about love in the end?

be it dressing or adressing
in a crowd unknown
be it listening to the music or
talking on the phone
be it jealousy or envy
be it you or me
love is the reason
for the way
all of us have been
you might want it from
the one who doesn't give a shit
they arent thinking about you
even for single minute
you might be fully aware
that they dont care
but the fucking love
is in middle in the end!

Isn't it all about love
that we do the things we do
isn't it all about love in the end?

you then just lose your mind
your loves one of a kind
that doesnt let you go
you'ren middle of the ocean...god wheres the shore?
you find in every other person
the one that could be
the one who could become
a part of your destiny
with constant failures
what could help you believe
that it is eL-O-Vee-Eee
yeah right!
thats what it did to me!

yeah it is all about love
its all about love in the end!

Who am I without you?

Who am I without you...?
its coz of the skies
oceans are blue...
Who am I without you..?
There are though 6 billion
like you are few...
Who am I without you...? without you?

Was I lost so much in me
that your love I couldn't feel...
what is there in me you see
you were there as long as you could be...


I miss your ingenuousness
pictures bring vicarious innocence
but what i did and how i'd been
obviates all my plees

who am i without you? without you? without you?

could i dare to wish you back?
would you even see my face?
although you left me behind...
but these questions are in my mind

who am i without you? without you ? without you?

Bade ho gaye yaar...

With the campus abuzz with internships, shortlists and array of well wishes on facebook wall, just makes me aware of this slow but steady transition into adulthood…”Yaar hum bade ho gaye” is all that is ringing in my head. It’s so true, no matter however clichéd it might sound, that the real taste of success is when you’re lucky enough to share it with a few special ones. Those efforts, those pains, that hard work, all comes back to you in ironically soothing fashion whilst it is let out amongst friends. Moments of truth, moments of reality just spill the beans of all that you did and you didn’t in this fleeting time which decides your fate for all that you are and all that you’re going to be. It’s funny the way how I’ve started talking in front of my juniors, the way which I once used to just perceive from my seniors. Whether we hate it or we like it the truth is we’re growing up and I just hope this world gives me experience enough to cope up with it....

Happy Teachers Day...

My heart makes a melody for the one who made me

The one I am today, the one I wanna be

It’s simply effortless to make, this song for all of them

Who’ve put all those efforts simply to make us good men.

With every growing step it’s a realization

Of all those small sacrifices you’ve made

I wish the arrow of time could curve itself

To take me back where it all began

All I can do is sing for you this melody

Of my heart…

That your teachings stay eternal

even if the soul departs…

Intern Story....(submission for a competition)

As my internship was approaching to an end I didn’t know what to feel. I was simply overwhelmed with the plethora of emotions which were running parallel in my head. On my arrival I had a bag full of clothes, zero expectations and an ecstasy of having an internship in a foreign land. When it was time to leave, the luggage felt heavier and lighter at the same time. Heavier because of the experience and lighter as I had cleared my head off certain questions and confusions which have seemed to lurk around me since time immemorial.

Like any other Indian, going to a foreign land marks the beginning of an endless comparison between the foreign land and your own country. Keeping that aside I reached Incheon International Airport claimed by some to be the world’s best and in the first four hours itself I was thrown into adventure. It so happened that on reaching the campus bus stop from the airport I forgot my luggage in the bus itself. I happened to have spoken to some Koreans on the way and given that moment of craziness when the bus left, a Korean lady actually ran behind the bus and yelled in Korean to stop the bus whilst I was frozen in fear and anxiety. She ran almost 300-400 meters when the next signal turned red stopping the bus. I couldn’t believe what happened in those brief 90 seconds! She even dropped me directly to the campus. I was falling in love with Korea. It was inevitable.

I reached the campus and was awe struck with the technology being utilized in everyday life. With old ladies driving public busses and smart card identification all around the campus I felt I was in a modern science fiction movie. It gave birth to a desire bringing such technology in my own country. I am sure it will happen one day.

My professor was an impressive man. Knowledgeable, creative and at the same time fun too. Since the lab was interdisciplinary I had the most creative group of Ph.Ds there could ever be. They were five (felt like Pandavas to me) each having their own unique ability with two from Mechanical, two from Architecture and one from Computer Science. It was nothing less than an honour to work with such high profile students from the science community. The best part was the treatment I received from them. Despite the fact that I was just a sophomore undergraduate student with obviously their knowledge base being far stronger than mine, they treated me like God. That’s the time I really felt the power of being an IITian. It so happens that 3 Idiots is really famous in South Korea and they highly respect the IITs .

Regarding my internship work, I feel rebooted, renewed and rejuvenated with the kind of knowledge and facts I learnt about engineering, design and architecture. I was working on a Smart House that could recognize its residents, realize the environment conditions like temperature, humidity etc.  The house was loaded with all the possible cutting edge technology that you could think of. Gesture recognition, Speech recognition and ability to compose and decompose itself (just like the movie Transformers) were some of the features of the house. Beginning from the foundation to the roof I never knew there were so many aspects involved in construction of a house which otherwise as a lay man would be thought of as an empty box!

Working every day for 11-12 hours made me walk down the memory lane of JEE preparation where you knew why you were working that hard and for what.  At the end of the day I used to be physically tired but mentally still had the urge of completing the goal by spending 5 more minutes.  It’s funny how life had a taken a complete circle where I was back into the JEE environment but well I guess its spiral upward rather than a circle (the 3-D graphs have improved my creativity ;) ). The conclusion of the work involved making an animation of the whole house representing all the features which we soon decide to release.

Having healthy relations with your professor is like a dream come true. It not only gives a good impression about oneself but also about your own country and college. It is definitely a big responsibility and I felt proud to have lived up to my countries expectation. I got my PhDs so interested that they all want to visit India at least once. One of the PhDs had actually worked in TATA motors in Bangalore and knew terms like “chai” and he asked me whether I miss that in Korea. Obviously if you are a tea lover you can understand the pain of not having tea for nearly three months. Being in close proximity to the Korean culture I realized it was in deep contrast to our Indian culture. The stuff they eat might faint almost night nine percent our country but that’s the beauty of a foreign culture isn’t it? You get to understand modernity and a broad minded society and hope to bring that back in your own land.

As I am writing this I realize there were just infinite small moments with a huge impact on me. The Korean weekends, the beaches, the cars, the GPS system, the cycling culture, Miss Jins Hamburgers – the lady who decided to be like a mother to me always giving those extra French fries as I became I regular customer in that expensive land, the metro lines of Seoul, the wax museum, the ice skating I just cannot confine everything in the wall of words. All in all just like JEE preparation and its success gave me the confidence to crack any hurdle in life, similarly my internship in a foreign country gave me the confidence of being adaptable and being able to keep my country proud wherever I go.

You are your culprit...

Commendable how we soldier on at times without having any clue as to what next….! The ability to cheat ourselves comes naturally from the very time we realize we are going to perish sometime or the other. We continue each day without bringing that thought in our mind that today is possibly my last day. I wonder what these facts would do to us if we did not possess the ability to make them transparent. Given this sometimes it is all the way worse to hide some facts rather than tackle them head on. That’s what’s known as self-deceit! We all live in self-deceit but the degree to which we utilize this necessary evil is what decides our general success in any endeavor…My goal for each day still remains to be true to myself…! Funny how success of my long term plans depends on this short term goal…

Dark Nights...Dark Knights

Just like the world is complete when both man and woman exist, although it’s very wrongly the world of men similarly a day is complete only when it has night again wrongly considered to be just day! Nights have always been the silent giver. There is something about the darkness which the light seems to lack. The calmness, the serenity and silence possessed by the night is hardly a part of the day where the humanity purges itself into a quest of infinite tasks. The amount you are with yourself is definitely more in those wee hours of night than those bright hours lost in the aims and challenges foreseen. How is it that we have disregarded these creative hours by simply renaming it as sleep? Why are there some of us who consider waking up to be more important than reaching heights which we possibly never could? Simply thinking of nighttime as a dreamtime can undermine the value which this dark beauty might behold…the key to creativity can only exist when there is a lock to yourself…finding oneself in this absolute silence and darkness is the dawn to a bright time ahead…….!! unveil yourself..use these DARK (K)NIGHTS!

The first warning!

The last day of the end sem examination concluding my 4^th sem and my second year did give me the vibes of the repertoire of eventful days which were to follow but I just couldn’t understand its gravity unless I actually experienced it! Meeting family in abroad after almost two years and a foreign intern in my bag were technically just two things which were going to happen but the exponential blast of the sub events on microscopic level truly gave the macroscopic picture of these “technically” two events which were likely to occur. Meeting family in Kuwait was a volley of emotions being thrown at me at weird intervals that it was too hard to dodge most of them. Happy, satisfied, blessed, protected were a few of the many thoughts running in my head. Then it came to KAIST, Korea which simply cannot be chained in any of these finite word languages. 

And now, I am back to my college after having taken a full circle it feels more like it was a climb up spiral where although I feel I am back to the same place from I began but the levels have increased and I have become richer in many ways. Third year!! Where did those 2 years pass lord knows!? So much we did but my mind paints the impactful events in a fraction of a second when I think about it. Feels as if it’s yesterday since I left school! And here I am in my penultimate year of graduation! Time is fleeting … all you can do is flow with the flow and be who you truly wanna be!

Third year sure feels different than the previous years. Freshmen year was all spent in anxiety and inquisitiveness. Second year in trying to recollect the freshmen year and getting into your own department but third year! It’s like the first warning of the beginning of an end…. It’s like the maturity of the sense of ownership and attachment which was conceived by the end of freshmen year…. It’s the hope of doing something worthwhile before it’s too late to begin… it’s the chance of strengthening those bonds of life in life for life…. It’s basically the final approach and call of that known untended fact of being no more a kid! Third year is definitely beginning with a bang let’s see what are its after effects!

You’re simply complicated....

I love to keep it simple silly
You simply complicate it..
I can’t do stuff willy-nilly
I have to admit it
All I wanted was your face
to be brightly lit;
When someone surprises
you don’t yell experiencing it.
I know the purse is tight
but anything for you..
Let me just take care of that..
I will soon have a breakthrough
Why can’t you let go
of your insecurities...
My buddies or those beauties
you have weird theories.
I understand your heart
but cant i expect that from you too?
And then those tears pour down
What can a guy then do?
Our loves simple and pure
we have experienced its zenith,
why can’t there be a constancy
why should there be a downfall;
All I want is you to be
is always happy with me
there nothing to win or lose
it aint a competition for me!

The whole is greater than the sum of its parts

As the internship approaches to an end I don’t know what to feel. I’m simply overwhelmed with the plethora of emotions which are parallelly running in my head. On my arrival I had a bag full of clothes, zero expectations and an ecstasy of having an internship in a foreign land. Now when it’s time to leave, the luggage feels heavier and lighter at the same time. Heavier coz of the experience and lighter coz I’ve cleared my head of certain questions and confusions which have seemed to lurk around me since time immemorial.

Definitely the aspect which made these 10 weeks so special was the company of certain exceptionally talented, visionary and courageous friends whose stories and their very presence made it so easy for me to just attract positivity and look at the brighter side. After being sucked off all the optimism and the thirst of having fruitful discussions about science, aims, ambitions or be it a philosophical discussion, by being termed as a “dassu” (the one who irritates) in college I’d had it enough. Balls to those who have lived like leeches, it’s time to gather myself back again and aim for what I had given JEE – to do something worthwhile before I die. I knew I had deteriorated after joining college. Ironical to the common belief of improvement after joining college, which is considered by many to be the truth, for me it was an exponential decay. It was not my mistake to have been brought up in a metropolitan city. My school had already instilled in me the courage to talk, be on stage and take part in co-curricular activities. I was “expecting more” from a national institute I guess. Probably that’s where I erred.

Expectation does no good to anyone. For those who satisfy their expectation feel the expectation turning into reality was a natural succession and aren’t very ecstatic about it. However when the expectations are not met, that’s when you get to see the real deal. It plunges you into darkness and depression. It’s like the blackhole sucking up all the light you can see around you. Self-help and self-motivation was the only way out. Thanks to this internship which I term as currently the only positively progressive gift which my college or in fact its brand name has given to me. And I am grateful for that. The happiness is from the fact that the company I mentioned earlier was from nowhere but my very college. I wonder why I couldn’t find them before. Was it because of that “blackhole effect” I couldn’t see light or is it that my college culture does really need a renovation? I have no clue. Well probably I do but that’s just my opinion not necessarily the truth.

Of course till now I’ve only mentioned about my companions and not about the internship specifically. Well I guess I don’t need to. I know I would have got to work wherever I would have gone. And obviously not just work but work like a bitch because internship is not only about learning but also about performance and delivery. So the internship has definitely taught me a lot and has been special in many ways but well those 3 idiots have contributed so much more I sometimes call them my “real” stipend of this internship and they react to it bitterly by asking me not to materialize them. All in all there can’t be anyone who can envelope these 10 weeks in the wall of words. It stays with us as several cherishable moments that rekindle that fervor I possessed during JEE.

Life as a Researcher...

Always since I grew up,

I knew a voice inside my head,

that told me I was above,

house, money and bread.

I let just every unimportant, 

person laugh on me.

I couldn't waste my time

on those stupid bullies.

Life got so much better,

with every fleeting beat.

People came and went,

but I couldn't self-deceit.

The voice just stayed with me 

and let me believe,

I could be a part of

a bigger destiny..

There’s an ocean of energy,

its your potential to be,

someone who could be a part

of a bigger destiny...

Its very rare that you find a place 

that resonates,

what you feel.

and makes you believe,

That the path you've set,

is the path you love

and it makes you fly

in those clouds above.

It makes you grow

and time just flows

It’s a warm embrace

to the things you wanna face..

So there is no end

to this journey...

You can just work...

to be a part of a bigger destiny...

Ellen DeGeneres

Okay I know the title is just enough to bring a smile on your face (and those who don’t know Ellen..as a pure “Ellenian” I forgive you and love you :P )but well if for none I write this blog for myself. Obviously got to admit that I am writing with this teensy little hope that the lady herself reads it and as Ellen says “why not?! You dream it to achieve it”. She can do the cover of O with just a joke and dance with Twitch with just a joke and oh boy what a joke it would be if Ellen doesn’t read this blog ever :P

But you see that’s the difference. We all do stuff for our own selfish, self-centered needs but for Ellen it aint the case! She spreads Smiles all over the world and not just smiles; they are bombs of incessant laughter which she throws at us saying “Right back at ya!” This is absolutely selfless and inspiring. With this blog all I want to convey is how much I love you and love who you are. I am lucky to be blessed with many things which when I see your show realize that some people just dream about them. I don’t write this for any favours, I am lucky to be blessed as I said. Ofcourse it’s an American show but as an Indian if you can move me then I feel you have more power than the presidents of all the countries and there you go! Your quest for world domination here successfully ends!

When it comes to humour, man I suck at it. My jokes are pathetic! But looking at Ellen I try to pick up her style of dry sarcasm and witty jokes to make all people happy around me. Obviously I terribly fail but then I can say "blame Ellen" it’s her style haha kidding! There are always these grumpy ones, forever alone kinds but Ellen is definitely an inspiration to continue loving such kinds as well coz after all there is no difference between anyone of us.

 So many people are now into yoga and stuff. I feel like laughing at the Americans. You don’t need to come to India to pick up yoga…You have Ellen!! Live.Laugh.Dance and see how happy and satisfied you are with your life. I am a dancer myself. I love dancing and so I know how special I am in her eyes :D Oh and talking about eyes….have you seen Ellen’s eyes? They are beautiful! Also I have always noticed in her shows how she laughs for this very brief moments and moves forward with the show! How does she do that? I am laughing my ass off and there ellen will be like …”but anyways the point is…” and moves on! Man what a grip on yourself as a comedian! Simply amazing.

My mother tells me I “waste” a lot of time watching youtube videos which are all about theellenshow. Hours n hours can be spent watching Ellen and thinking about how beautiful life is with its ups and downs. I told my mother that she taught me about love and now it’s her fault that I love ellen! She just smiles back…reminds me of Betty ma’am! What a mother! Although just by saying mother it becomes understood but well adding Betty in front of it you know it’s the mother of all mothers! I wish I had my grandparents with me and grandparents like Betty would be like heaven! I would keep moving from one house to the other and help them hoard more stuff like staplers and stuff haha you got to be a pure ellen fan or an Ellenian as I put it to understand what I am saying… Ellen I could just go on n on about you but well the whole world knows about you anyways. This was just a way to express myself so that you know an Ellenian exists…love you ..keep rocking and laughing…..and keep dancing! 

It all depends on you!

I’ve just come back to my dormitory after those long 15 hours of work in my laboratory and I am dead tired! Yet something just compelled me open Microsoft word and sit and write this blog. What was it that despite my yawning and half shut eyes makes me want to pen down my feelings which apparently are all about slumber? As I wondered blankly staring at my desktop I realized it was pure and simple satisfaction. Yeah you might just roll your eyes and think “oh come on?!” But yeah you read it right. It’s satisfaction, a virtue like happiness which can’t be questioned about its end. As in why do you want to be happy or satisfied? It’s an end in itself and I am sure you know how it feels when you experience pure unadulterated values like these. It’s always in moments isn’t it? It doesn’t stay for a very long period of time. Just those brief moments which you don’t even need to bother to register in your memories, it involuntarily does. And so with this feeling still lingering in my heart I realized I have chosen the right path for myself.

I mean we all at a point of time or the other …we do think about our purpose, our aims, our likes, dislikes (or maybe think about it several points of time ..well that’s a line of time? ..ugh whatever my jokes are just pathetic :P) and as to how we can work upon them, to well,….earn money and teach those bitches a lesson :P just kidding! But yeah we do think about this stuff no matter how much we might try and deny it in front of others. Sometimes probably even discuss it, as it is with the people whom we think have no life and yet they discuss about life …although you would like to talk about it to find an answer possible but you just choose to ignore if you’re in the denial group.. sometimes you might even give it a try to discuss it with the nerds to get an idea about yourself but well they just keep depressing you don’t they? :P so the established fact is that be it whoever he/she does think about his/her purpose. There might be some who live an aimless life but well me and my blog doesn’t consider them to be a part of humanity. There’s a difference in having no aim yet trying to find one and having no aim at all.

So well as I came back to my dormitory I felt this immense satisfaction of doing the right thing for myself. Those who know how this feels can surely drown back to their time but majority of us are still in that process. For such kinda people I write this for a simple encouragement to keep on trying the things which you just ‘feel’ are right for you but don’t ‘know’ for sure. You never know your heart until you can feel its fastest beat which seems to come in every such moment where you not only know your heart but yourself and that hazy path which for years and years was in front of you all becomes crystal clear!

Miss Jins hamburgers

“Annyeong Haseyo!”-she said cheerfully as every customer opened her shops door chiming those Korean bells attached with the door frame.

“A cheese burger please”-said Hoon selecting the least priced burger available.

Tired of aimlessly walking almost 1500 meters from his office trying to cut himself off from the daily schedule he entered this small shop with an aim to find nothing but silence. He was hungry too but the thirst of tranquility had to be quenched first.

“mol won hae? Set?” she asked with that effervescent smile which seemed to have been her companion for a long time.

As for Hoon, he could not interpret her Korean words as he came from a land unknown speaking a language which no one in a thousand kilometer radius understood. Probably he was frustrated because of a language barrier or was it the work load only he knows.

His confused expression cleared it out to her that he was far from understanding anything and so she pointed it out on the menu and asked “Du yu wont a set?”

And that’s when he realized she was asking him whether he wanted the burger single or with coke and french-fries which she called it a set. He saw it costs another 1800 won and although he was hungry decided to stick with the single burger and said slowly “n---o .....s---e---t”

He was deep into his thoughts to observe the colourful restaurant with a perfect luminance to create an atmosphere for a hungry man to eat his lunch peacefully. The traditional Korean handicrafts and painting hung on the walls gave the German-American burger joint a Korean authenticity.

“Cheese burger” she said cheerfully and served it on the loners table. With the first bite Hoon time travelled into the past imagining himself sitting in his mother’s kitchen on the kitchen table which seemed to have been the only place where he was genuinely happy.

“Wow!” he exclaimed like a callow child.

“Aww….Kasahamnida” she said with her eyes glittering with joy just the way his mother’s did.

He paused for a moment and suddenly he could see reality painting in his mind making him aware of those colourful walls and his taste buds imagining his mother sitting on the opposite chair looking at him and smiling like always when he had food.

He took as long as he could with the burger and after taking that last bite and further bits of the last bite he paid her the trifle 3000 won in exchange of a priceless feeling.

It’s been a week and he walks everyday those 1500 meters twice which seems a very small distance for his journey back to his mother’s kitchen-The only place where he was genuinely happy.

Saranghaeyo Korea!! First 4 hours!

Okay firstly got to mention that after reading my seniors blog about Korea, who happens to be having his internship in KAIST, Daejeon as well, gave me a huge inferiority complex as to what I could write about Korea which he couldn’t and anyways it’s awesome. Turning out to be a huge blessing in disguise my introspection and retrospection levels are on an all-time high making me recollect those sub-consciously registered moments which my trip to Korea exclusively offered me!

It began for me with bidding khudahafiz (byebye) to Daulat-Al-Kuwait which is all together another story for me to pen down sometime later. 

Flying through Jet-Airways International was the best plane experience so far. Good entertainment facility I must say, a library of movies and soaps to choose from and to my surprise an internal chat facility with your other mates who couldn’t get the honour of sitting next to you. Of course I personally consider it insane to chat to your neighbor via text msgs on “Jet airways international” but well you can try that too if you want.

 The long tiring journey took its toll by the time I was in the connecting flight from Hong Kong in Asiana Airlines. It had already been 16 hours from Kuwait with a 12 hour stop at Delhi and I was least interested in roaming about the Hong Kong airport. Least interested to do anything but unfortunately attend nature’s sweet call! If it would’ve been the easy job I would have been more than happy with Hong Kong but seriously for the greater task you give me tissue papers instead of water? Oh man! It was a live troll and lol scene! Anyway my respect for Bisleri has never been greater. With that note I sat in Asiana airlines where I got a sneak peak of what Korea is all about. As soon as the flight begins the flight attendants graciously and warmly welcome you. For a pot belly like me it was herculean to bend down to respect someone else like that! It was nice to have a cute Korean girl sit next to you and tell tales about her life and culture of Korea. My energy was all coming back with the “time left to reach destination” sign flashing on the screen. With the successful landing (I still get nightmares of dying in a plane crash) it was annyeong haseyo to a reality of THE dream rising from the ashes of a hope burned by tension and anticipation. The “Welcome to Korea” sign accelerated my heart, widened my smile and activated my 1 diopter weak eyes into fully functional mode as I began to look at everything everywhere. Me being Bollywood-ish it was an awesome feeling to step on another land (no matter even if I’d been to Kuwait first) with the nasik dhol (Indian music) playing in my head. I was ecstatic and I can’t confine this feeling in my wall of words or for that matter in this dumb analogy.THIS was my foreign internship!! With me knowing no one I felt independent and lonely at the same time! Mixed feelings given this situation were quite natural I guess.

 Incheon International Airport claimed to be the world’s no.1 for me felt awesome just because I knew it was no.1. Rest, yeah it was big, awesome, and supreme blah blah. I straight away headed for the outside as it was gonna be another 4 hour journey by bus to Daejeon after being looted at the foreign exchange ofcourse, but what can one do when he is stupid enough not to get some Korean currency at better rates in his own country. Oh yeah and the exchange! Man you feel rich! This feeling goes no sooner than when you pay for the limousine bus ticket. 23k Won for Incheon to Daejeon!! Wasn’t gonna stay “rich” after all. With respect to India Korea is literally 10 times more expensive but well I didn’t care. At the bus station found a Korean girl studying in Australia (I guess humanities..u get the point right?) who herself asked if I needed help ( even if I didn’t I would have said yes ) she told me she knew the place well so there wasn’t much to worry about. She also found a lady and her daughter going to the same station as I was to help me further from there. So this is Korea I thought! People with their simplicity (using not so simple devices though) and down to earth nature can win your heart in moments.

The bus with its pin drop silence couldn’t help but force me to keep comparing India with Korea. I was prepared for Korea to be technologically advanced but not for the code of conduct of each and every individual that I came across. The fast Indian pace and the growing population have made us lose some basic respect we ought to give to every fellow human being. It’s not that we don’t it’s just that our datum begins from a very different level. This isn’t cultural difference this is something else. Probably the twist of our natural consensus when there is competition every single second. Anyways, I was absolutely vigilant to not miss my stop. The bus stopped somewhere and the lady asked me to get down. As soon as I got down I was asking her whether this is the correct stop. Meanwhile the bus left! The bus left!!!!!!! With my luggage! Crap all of a sudden I was out of my dreamland saga and it took I guess a minute for me to sink in the fact that the luggage was gone! That lady felt so bad she ran after the bus seconds after it left. So the scene was, me sinking in the fact that I was in deep shit with my legs welded to the ground, the lady running for me behind the bus on the freeway with cars moving at the speed of light and some Koreans trying to console me. That was one hell of a moment to put up with. I guess I was just lucky that the signal went red and the bus stopped for the lady to catch up. Stopped but after good 700 meters of displacement from the stop. I have never had any of my relatives run for me like that in worse situations! She yelled in Korean and the bus took aside and I procured my 60 seconds lost luggage. Man those 60 seconds! What an adventure with me being hardly for 4 hours in this country. The lady took me to her residence and told me she will drop me to Hwaam Dormitory herself! For a moment I thought I was being abducted by a lady who strangely runs for me and then tells me I can avoid the 4000 won taxi! Too good to be true isn’t it? Well too good to be true in India I guess. I was already in love with this country. 4 hours of Korea and this! Imagine the 2 months stay I thought.

Well I reached Hwaam at about 11pm…and a whole new story begins from there…I guess it will take a whole new blog for that…as for now sitting in my office during lunch hour and finishing with this blog …. Anneyeong haseyo…and kamsahamnida if u reached the end….

Don't give a damn!

Just because my life's an empty page
doesn't give you right to scribble on it..
I am not the clothes that you wear..
whenever and however you want it

So if you really dont care
then I have nothing to share
I won't ruin my love for who I am...
you can be gone...I dont...give a damn...!

Remember all those things you said?
how fickle minded one can be...
you asked me to never abandon you...
and look how easily you left me

So if you had it in your mind...
then couldn't you be kind..
to let me know this was your program...
you can be gone...I dont...give a damn...!

People tell me I'll learn from it...
but frankly you dont deserve to teach me..
but no matter this is life..it is unfair..
unlike you I'll soldier on bravely...

So be whatever you wanna be
in the end you'll answer thee..
you're nothing but one big scam...
you can be gone...I dont...give a damn....!

I wont ruin my love for who I am...
you can be gone...i dont...give a damn..!
you can be gone...i dont...give a damn.!

I miss being passionate...

I know the fire in me isn’t lost. I know my hearts still warm enough. Warm enough to melt atleast the society of science with something. Something! Aint clear yet. What’s clear is this dream. What’s clear is this confidence and what’s clear is how I see myself-now and 10 years later. But I miss something. I wondered what and I realized. Passion and fire not only comes from within but from your surroundings as well. It’s like a spark just wishing to be conceived in gasoline to set ablaze everything.

I’m not blaming anyone or anything for that matter. Each one’s for himself. But it’s just when you’ve tasted friendship so pure and when you’ve shared minds with those far better than your own and when you’ve fought together a battle which brought immortal glory which runs in your blood every single day you tend to want more or atleast maintain those levels. These two years have marred me more than anything else. I wish I wouldn’t disrespect those who surround me and I wish for the same from them but the clash is inevitable when what you ask from life differs to the very core of that which makes one who he is.

I’ve seen struggle. Struggle in the eyes of my loved ones to make me who I am today. It is in the honour and pride of that struggle that I carry this baton as I run this course of life to actually be sure of being worthy of something. Oh yes! It’s a battle every day and it’s more than satisfactory to sleep soundly every night. The only problem is I like to keep it insatiable (one of the effects of it being my sleepless pillow :P). Many feel irritated of this quality. I just fail to understand why. If you can appreciate the present enough and hope for more in the future I guess you can possess that secret ingredient, that driving force and ironically that source of satisfaction which many yearn till their last breath but fail to achieve it.

Anyways writing this doesn’t make me miss it any more. “It’s all in the head” I remember these words and I just smile at the end coz I know after all it’s not…..the end!

Special Someone...

Life unfolding with its surprises every moment is truly worth living provided you have along with you that special someone who reciprocates your feelings and emotions in a way so awesome it was too hard for you to even guess it as an instance in your most hypothetical situation. The feeling of being loved and cared so much so that you blindly know you make a difference to someone somewhere in this self-centered world is a magnanimous blessing. 

Those ordinary words coming from extra ordinary people, who place themselves exclusively in those inaccessible corners of your heart, give a life changing impetus, making you realize that they are truly the ones who went that extra mile for you because of you. The true worth of your existence is when you exist with such worthy people.

Life will not exactly pin point a person in particular. It will give you those moments of revelation where you make your choice. It’s probably that moment where Karma comes into picture. It reciprocates your apprehensions in a way which is completely representing your view of the world. You think the world to be too difficult to deal with, then you will experience every such moment as an unsolvable puzzle, you think it to be full of surprises and surprised you will be. It just depends on how you would love to look at these moments. 

There are so many things, abilities and people we think to be by default a part of our lives which are ought to be there no matter what. The truth is life doesn’t keep promises, it was never meant to. Life simply unfolds and puts you in a situation which you have to deal with. It doesn’t even say whether the conditions are sufficient to find those problematic variables, it just puts you there. That’s when those special people stand right next to you making you aware of the sufficiency to deal with the situation because of their very presence. Indeed then life with its unforgiving, inconsiderate and unpromising character still becomes a beautiful journey to experience. 

Constancy...

As we grow, we keep evolving and becoming something more than what we were before but do we need to change ourselves completely to evolve? Looking back at my school days I know how I have evolved and changed as well. I also know how my schoolmates have evolved and changed. I am very happy for all that evolving but not exactly for some of the changes that have engulfed them. Yeah it’s true in some cases changes are quite necessary and for the better but then it’s not too late before I start thinking about who have been constant in my life and how I am left with a very few names whereas there were a few more I would have loved to share the constancy with.  While watching a movie based on friendship and love has this thought ever come across your mind? For me it has. Sometimes I even lose track of the movie while thinking about the perfect friends shown in these films. If you have that one friend who has been with you through thick and thin you are indeed very blessed.

And then when I think about constancy I can only think about my parents. It’s so weird that I spend more and more time with my friends as I grow up but at the end of the day when it comes to dependence and faith and trust without much contemplation I can just turn to them and they will be there. I just thank god for blessing me with such amazing parents who’ve done more than what they could to give me whatever I wished for. I can write and write on this but this wall of words cannot confine them. No matter where the arrow of time leads you don’t forget to keep in touch with your parents wherever they are. Remember what they can teach you in a second might take you a lifetime to understand…. J

The Serpentine Lake

Hey folks! I am the famous Serpentine Lake in the campus of IIT Guwahati, Assam. An abode to thousands of IITians who after being drained off their gray cells in a nearly extinct examination called JEE are sent for a survival test to different places, one being Guwahati. After realizing the big fat lie which every coaching institute told to the JEE aspirants, that their life would be heaven, the IITians realize a greater truth, no girls ergo no life forget about heaven. Yeah it’s this “thing” amongst IITians to consider their campus comprising of only males and “non-males” but no females.

Anyways these conceptions are amongst the lesser mortals within the IITians. I befriend the “happening” and “dude” IITians who are the talk of the campus. Actually, when I was founded, about 17 years ago, I heard a divine voice which bestowed on me the pleasure of eavesdropping on the most famous couples formed out of near zero probabilities. Since then I have been enjoying, what the arts and commerce people would term as the, dullest, corniest, most geeky and dumbest couple conversations of all time. Nevertheless, I am very happy to be part of better amongst the worst. My friend lake near the library in front of NAC is frustrated of not having a name as well but that’s just the beginning of its miseries. Staying next to the library and in front of the lecture halls is the epitome of torture that it goes through, which I refuse to even imagine. I am really proud of being the lake with an island near a community hall, which only comes to life when HSS people celebrate something. Yeah even professors do use that community hall but well I mentioned about coming to life not going dead.

Yet, the best part is when that shining orange ball in the sky falls into my waters and extinguishes. That’s when I wake up. That’s when I clean my ears as well as I can and just wait and wait until two poor souls who know not that their conversation wouldn’t be private as they think it to be, come walking towards me. With the boys as desperate as they could be, I always get this vibe from them of searching the nearest possible bus stop shed with low lighting for obvious reasons. For the girls or well ahem…”non-males” it will be majority of the times about their life problems and retrospection. For some it is about losing weight as well but I always pray that such people can hear my friend SAC grounds call and go to the appropriate place because I give preferences to “you-know-who”. It’s really funny what the guys expect and what the girls actually come for. With all their college life expectations shattered into pieces I have great sympathies when even these expectations shatter. Anyways I hold them in high regards to at least manage to befriend their opposite sex. Yeah there are times when two souls are of the same sex as well but in this world of versatile possibilities we ought to respect personal choice. I don’t even blame them. What can one do with 1:10 girl:guy ratio and sometimes even worse.

So, now you know me better. The lake with an island or the couples lake call me whatever, I silently survive and wish for more couples each day, I proudly am the Serpentine Lake. 

Those days....

Remember those days when the toughest task used to be just waking up in the morning and getting ready for school? Mom always used to wake up on time! On time, with everything ready and we had to just brush, bathe, bite breakfast, bundle books and bags and “bhrrrum” away. Such simple and innocent days are so lost now.

Now the toughest task is to continue with those “plans” and just push and push yourself to squeeze in this world full of expectations and responsibilities. How ironic were those days when becoming the “monitor” of the class (which IS a responsibility) would bring immense pride and joy. How human were those days when sharing the tiffin did not involve thinking about your own benefits and hours of retrospection as to who gets the share. How simple were those days when a kerchief could gather a group of 10-15 boys who were not allowed to bring a cricket ball to school. How complicated it is now to keep in touch although a hanky is no match for wireless network in terms of “binding”. How scary it was when the principal walked into the class and how normal it is now to leave the class mid-way. How exciting it was to get the new school books and how dull it is now to search for them in the library.

Remember coming back from school with the worlds’ most untidy dress with mom yelling on top her lungs?  Phew! I yearn that yelling when its days without a bath in the hostel. I guess irony flows deeper and deeper with age and maturity. Those rules and chains which I wanted to be free from are the very reasons why I miss my school days so much now. This unchartered freedom holds good just for a few days after which you yearn for control. Nevertheless, those reminiscential memories seem to be of more importance than the desire of living them again.

There are still many things which haven’t changed since time immemorial like the happiness of a free period, the desire to know the results no matter how bad they are, the backbenches which are like friends forever, the favourite spot in class and many other petty things of paradoxically great importance. I’m joyously recollecting some of those best days writing this. It’s time for you to pause for 5 minutes and just immerse yourself in the sea of memories which will surely bring a wide smile on your face. 

Language doesn't make me who I am

It so happens that in almost everyone’s life there is this one person, may be closely or remotely related to him/her, who stammers and it becomes just so difficult to take that person seriously. Isn’t it? Even if we try to control laughing at his/her face we are too busy struggling to maintain our seriousness so much so that it can’t be channelized to him/her. I just feel disgusted with such kind of people. 

It’s fine when a person is being made fun of as long as it’s within a certain limit because that’s what friends do---have fun at each other’s expense, laugh, joke etc--- but even after all that judging a person and forming opinions about him/her based on his/her ability or disability is just pushing such people’s level below zero and giving away “who they are when no one’s looking” and please don’t argue by saying that its but natural to laugh. I would like to see them laughing at their mother, father or children for that matter if they would (and I hope no one is impaired in any ways) have the same.

 I am definitely not getting into the philosophical argument of what’s good or bad but I am sure of one thing -no one likes being made fun of. Ofcourse I don’t even spare myself when it comes to this. Even I am guilty of making fun of so many and to worsen it, behind their back, but every day I try to be a better person and at least make an attempt to understand all kinds of people around me. How much selfish and self-centered can you be even if you try? You just can’t ignore the people around you. So when I say I make an attempt implies that I do spare sometime trying to understand these people around me. I mean what’s the use of sparing time to pray or even call up your parents when you are in your hostel missing them when you can’t even understand what’s being human. 

The interesting part is after writing these few lines itself my mind is yelling “Why so serious?” but well this is where it all begins-you need to seriously consider people with their complex repertoire of behavior and try to spend some time with each of them before passing any judgments. Do you feel impossible to do so (spending time with everyone)? Then don’t even judge them just by their behavior. 

When it comes to respect I’d been taught of respecting my elders and all that crap. I strongly disagree. I just respect people by their work. This solely makes them who they are. No matter what they say, how “good looking” they are (yeah this is for all those idiotic girls and boys who decide a person is awesome or not based on their looks), how important their relation is with me or any of that sort. Yeah the obvious counter argument would be about respecting some of my professors unwillingly as they decide my grade since I’m in college. Another common argument which I am sure many of us have felt is unwillingly respecting some members of our family (most of the times cousins). But that’s a total different topic of discussion where one has to unwillingly accept certain things or have the balls enough to go against it.

The point is, judging a person and making opinions about him/her is completely in our will. Despite this we disrespect so many around us. Ofcourse it’s not that if this would happen then everyone would like everyone else but at least a few misunderstood could live peacefully. Also, "not disrespecting" and "liking" are two different things.

Language doesn’t solely decide what kind of a person I am neither for anyone else. There are so many of us especially being in India who laugh at people who can’t speak English properly or for that matter their style of speaking is off beat. Let me remind them that most of our mothers and fathers can’t even read or write. That doesn’t mean we think of them in anyway lowly than what their position is for us then why for others? I being from a metropolitan city have observed so many idiotic fools who think being from the city and living a hardcore urban lifestyle gives them the right to look down upon our people and our very country. Shame on such people who decided to go for a complicated life but well just cannot handle the complicacy. 

I study in a national institute called the IIT which is an abode to multi-cultural students from all over India and it’s said that at least one language changes every hundred kilometers in my country. It’s so fascinating to come across such diverse cultures of India in comparatively a small region like my campus. Here the problem is worse. The individual judging takes form of regionalism and groups which seem to be self-sustaining and absolutely inert to anyone else who’s considered foreign to their set of beliefs or culture. Seriously what’s the use of staying away from home and coming so far for education when you don’t have the basic ability to mingle with anyone else? Stay at home forever. Yeah agreed it’s not necessary to tolerate anything and everything but at least respect one another for who we are and where we come from. Anyways I guess my point is clear. I make words, words don’t make me but whatever I do it defines me.