A lot of weird things happened today that threw me into a
stack of realizations not only changing the way I am looking at my life today
but also what I would choose to do next. It’s funny how you always remember things in
theory but forget them to apply in practice. I’ve always felt this self-constructed
pressure on myself for a range of things I choose to pursue and I don’t know
why. I’ve always known to enjoy life every moment (in theory) and make the most
of it without actually realizing that I might have missed a whole lot of sides to
my life which I could have attempted successfully or unsuccessfully just for
the sheer pleasure of pursuing them. As confusing as this previous line could
be I myself am appalled by the fact that there are so many things I wish I would
have done in the past but left it as I was afraid of failure. Not just in
pursuing the new task but also fearing to not be able to live up to my own
expectation of my previous work. Well, it is realistic to be careful, cautious
and wise but sometimes it’s worth taking a risk. Sometimes you need to hit the
arrow in the dark to see where it lands. Although I still strongly do believe
in not leaving your life to chance but certain decisions, certainly not all,
could be dealt differently. The true experience of anything is when you could
see both the high and the low of it. Unfortunately it can’t always be that
ways. How could one experience both success and failure at the same time for
the same thing? Although it’s easier to imagine about feeling happy and sad at
the same time and even for the same thing but could it be possible with
everything else as well? Would that be called the true experience of the thing
in the first place? Even though I do not have an answer for that I do know one
thing for sure. My definition of living life to fullest is dynamic, constantly
changing and warmly accommodating every new facet that life has to offer.
