The first warning!

The last day of the end sem examination concluding my 4^th sem and my second year did give me the vibes of the repertoire of eventful days which were to follow but I just couldn’t understand its gravity unless I actually experienced it! Meeting family in abroad after almost two years and a foreign intern in my bag were technically just two things which were going to happen but the exponential blast of the sub events on microscopic level truly gave the macroscopic picture of these “technically” two events which were likely to occur. Meeting family in Kuwait was a volley of emotions being thrown at me at weird intervals that it was too hard to dodge most of them. Happy, satisfied, blessed, protected were a few of the many thoughts running in my head. Then it came to KAIST, Korea which simply cannot be chained in any of these finite word languages. 

And now, I am back to my college after having taken a full circle it feels more like it was a climb up spiral where although I feel I am back to the same place from I began but the levels have increased and I have become richer in many ways. Third year!! Where did those 2 years pass lord knows!? So much we did but my mind paints the impactful events in a fraction of a second when I think about it. Feels as if it’s yesterday since I left school! And here I am in my penultimate year of graduation! Time is fleeting … all you can do is flow with the flow and be who you truly wanna be!

Third year sure feels different than the previous years. Freshmen year was all spent in anxiety and inquisitiveness. Second year in trying to recollect the freshmen year and getting into your own department but third year! It’s like the first warning of the beginning of an end…. It’s like the maturity of the sense of ownership and attachment which was conceived by the end of freshmen year…. It’s the hope of doing something worthwhile before it’s too late to begin… it’s the chance of strengthening those bonds of life in life for life…. It’s basically the final approach and call of that known untended fact of being no more a kid! Third year is definitely beginning with a bang let’s see what are its after effects!

You’re simply complicated....

I love to keep it simple silly
You simply complicate it..
I can’t do stuff willy-nilly
I have to admit it
All I wanted was your face
to be brightly lit;
When someone surprises
you don’t yell experiencing it.
I know the purse is tight
but anything for you..
Let me just take care of that..
I will soon have a breakthrough
Why can’t you let go
of your insecurities...
My buddies or those beauties
you have weird theories.
I understand your heart
but cant i expect that from you too?
And then those tears pour down
What can a guy then do?
Our loves simple and pure
we have experienced its zenith,
why can’t there be a constancy
why should there be a downfall;
All I want is you to be
is always happy with me
there nothing to win or lose
it aint a competition for me!

The whole is greater than the sum of its parts

As the internship approaches to an end I don’t know what to feel. I’m simply overwhelmed with the plethora of emotions which are parallelly running in my head. On my arrival I had a bag full of clothes, zero expectations and an ecstasy of having an internship in a foreign land. Now when it’s time to leave, the luggage feels heavier and lighter at the same time. Heavier coz of the experience and lighter coz I’ve cleared my head of certain questions and confusions which have seemed to lurk around me since time immemorial.

Definitely the aspect which made these 10 weeks so special was the company of certain exceptionally talented, visionary and courageous friends whose stories and their very presence made it so easy for me to just attract positivity and look at the brighter side. After being sucked off all the optimism and the thirst of having fruitful discussions about science, aims, ambitions or be it a philosophical discussion, by being termed as a “dassu” (the one who irritates) in college I’d had it enough. Balls to those who have lived like leeches, it’s time to gather myself back again and aim for what I had given JEE – to do something worthwhile before I die. I knew I had deteriorated after joining college. Ironical to the common belief of improvement after joining college, which is considered by many to be the truth, for me it was an exponential decay. It was not my mistake to have been brought up in a metropolitan city. My school had already instilled in me the courage to talk, be on stage and take part in co-curricular activities. I was “expecting more” from a national institute I guess. Probably that’s where I erred.

Expectation does no good to anyone. For those who satisfy their expectation feel the expectation turning into reality was a natural succession and aren’t very ecstatic about it. However when the expectations are not met, that’s when you get to see the real deal. It plunges you into darkness and depression. It’s like the blackhole sucking up all the light you can see around you. Self-help and self-motivation was the only way out. Thanks to this internship which I term as currently the only positively progressive gift which my college or in fact its brand name has given to me. And I am grateful for that. The happiness is from the fact that the company I mentioned earlier was from nowhere but my very college. I wonder why I couldn’t find them before. Was it because of that “blackhole effect” I couldn’t see light or is it that my college culture does really need a renovation? I have no clue. Well probably I do but that’s just my opinion not necessarily the truth.

Of course till now I’ve only mentioned about my companions and not about the internship specifically. Well I guess I don’t need to. I know I would have got to work wherever I would have gone. And obviously not just work but work like a bitch because internship is not only about learning but also about performance and delivery. So the internship has definitely taught me a lot and has been special in many ways but well those 3 idiots have contributed so much more I sometimes call them my “real” stipend of this internship and they react to it bitterly by asking me not to materialize them. All in all there can’t be anyone who can envelope these 10 weeks in the wall of words. It stays with us as several cherishable moments that rekindle that fervor I possessed during JEE.